to my sober self 4.10.2024

I love you

You are high right now

I wish you didn't feel low

I wish I could tell you the familiar warmth of her isn't harsh at all

I wish I told you

That I love you

I love you

I wish your pain went away

I wish all of a sudden you were fine

And off a sudden, you stay like that

I wish all of a sudden all your sins are forgiven

I wish all you a sudden you are not going to regret this tomorrow morning

Darling,

I wish I love you

I wish, that fallling apart didn't feel like a viable option

Surrendering to its birth and death

Surrendering in peace, to its violence..

And I wish, all of a sudden you were ok

I wish, this wasn't your last resort to feel alive on Friday nights

I wish I weren't the person I am right now

To my sober self, I saw,

I love you.

I love for you the blessing that you will have tomorrow

I love you for your new day

Your new opportunity 

Your new lease

At life

I love you, irregardless, of all the mistakes that you might, you will, you might, you will, you won't, but you are going to, 

Make,

Tomorrow

I'm so sorry,

Darling, 

This is all I knew,

Tonight

And I still,

I do,

I love you.

BS