I remember I didn't used to think that I'm someone.
Someone that's worth remembering,
Someone that's worth something.
And I remember wanting to belong.
To: someone.
To be: someone's.
As if that'll make me someone.
Someone that's worth something.
It's funny how I almost forgot,
That I am someone's child.
That I too,
Am loved,
And my face,
That I judge so harsh,
It's the genetic impression of 10s and 1000s of lovers that saw beauty in each other's eyes,
And in times that there wasn't any love,
Im sure there was wisdom,
And lessons being learnt.
Enough wisdom to carve wrinkles and scars into beautiful skin,
Enough to mark it,
Enough to callous it,
Enough to thicken it
And enough to pass it down,
I remember I didn't used to think that I'm someone.
Someone that's worth remembering,
Someone that's worth something.
And I remember wanting to belong.
I tried so hard to belong
I walked so far in the journey of effort
I took too many steps
And infact I missed the stop
I missed the mark
I was far too tired to even enjoy the fruit of my labour
When someone would accommodate me
When someone would make me feel like I belong
I had walked too far..
Too far off my destination,
Top far off love,
I had walked too much, to belong,
I had forgotten how to: belong.
See, I remember I didn't used to think that I'm someone,
I was a hungry dog
Not knowing how to let go of the bone
To bite into the fresh carcass
I was a hungry dog
My exposed ribs so attractive
I was the perfect muse, the perfect metaphor
To be photographed
To be painted
To be looked at
To be idealised
In fact, I idealised myself, to beat everyone else to it,
I didn't want anyone else to idealise me,
Because everytime I idealised someone else,
They ended up letting me down.
So, in the end,
Before I bore you to death,
The hungry dog does get fed,
And more importantly,
It learns how to hunt,
And on the way,
It learns from other dogs,
Who are also hunting,
How best to hunt,
And even more importantly,
How to let others In.
I remember I didn't used to think that I'm someone.
Someone that's worth remembering,
Someone that's worth something.
And I remember wanting to belong.
Even though I'm still not quite sure how,
I now know how to love,
And let myself be loved,
And all I know for a fact is that I take responsibility for a good big chunk of that transformation,
And now I love so greatly,
And so patiently,
That I do my best not to break a single heart,
In fact,
I smile at every single hungry dog I see,
Even when I have no food to give to them,
And when I do,
I always share,
And more importantly,
I feel the most alive,
When I get to go hunting with them,
And also teach them,
How best to,
Hunt.
For I know for a fact that,
The best hunters,
They share the most,
For they have the most to share,
And maybe one day,
There might not be a single hungry dog around,
We all might be running around,
Hunting in our frenzies,
Our bellies full,
And yet our teeth also sharp,
For we always know,
We might easily be that hungry dog, again,
Starving death,
Sucking on a dry bone,
Tomorrow.
BS
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