redirection 21.05.2024

I shrink
Like a snail
Into the shell
Like a millipede
Into a ball
A cloud against the sun
A strawberry bush against the storm

I flatten and shy away
I hold my breath

When I feel rejected
When I feel affected
When things are on the personal

I just walk around like I am some victim
Like the world owes me and my anger some place

I mean, fair enough I remove myself
And fair enough I only allow love to exist in my vicinity
But man,
I really do walk around
Like the biggest saint
Like the other person just invented hate
All on their own
All alone
Forgetting to reflect that maybe they are hurt too
Hurting me
Looking for some reaction
Looking for something 
Some escape

And what if all pain is an attempt at love
And every act of hatred a failure to love?
Every rejection redirection 
And every denial, self isolation?

And maybe 
And just 
Maybe
All they are doing is
Screaming so fucking loud
Hoping someone
I mean
Anyone, hears that
They. are. hurt. too.

BS





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