rattle snake 19.05.2024

Something rattles me 
From time to time
It feels the same
But it's different
Everytime

I call it the rejection wound

Scared of rejection
Scared of how I'm being perceived 
Just the thought of it can paralyse me
I remember I used to feel emotionally frozen

Numb
Immobile
Incapable
Imprisoned

I feel like a snake but with a rattling tongue behind me
I feel like a river
But with a spring that never let's me forget where I come from
Old wounds
Sniffing behind my trail like old hounds
They are pounding at the door
Looking for me
I can't run
Or escape
Like a waterfall
From a river
Into the ocean
I can't fall
So I'm falling
I'm falling out of love with myself
For that brief moment

Forget the rattle
I call it the rejection wound

Forget the rattle 
Because I am now the snake
The slithering hissing snake
Second guessing himself
I bite into my own tail
My own rattling tail
That is lying to me
That is trying me
That is crying to me
Betraying me on the battle ground
Denying me on the rattle ground
Like a rattle hound
That is being poisoned by the rattle snake.

Battle scars on my face.

Rattle snake.
I call it's the rejection wound.
I'll never do that shit again.
Reject
The rejection wound.
I'll never do that shit again.

BS

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