emotional support melanin 15.04.2024

Everytime I walk into a room
Especially a room I haven't been before 
I brace myself, and hold my breath
I whisper to myself,
Infact I pray,
Not sure who I'm praying to,
But still I pray,

Please, God, please,
I hope there aren't too many white people in there.. 
Please God, please, I don't want to be the only bit of melanin,
I don't want the risk,
I don't want the burden,
The responsibility,
Please,
Even I, barely have any good melanin,
That good shit,
I don't got it, god,
This is fake,
I'm just a tradie who doesn't wear sunscreen,
This is not real melanin,
This is just lack of self care,
a coping mechanism,
Please God,
Please chuck atleast one more sprinkle of melanin in there?
In the corner,
Maybe next to the bar,
Maybe on my way to the toilet,
Lining up just outside,
And I promise I'll strike up a conversation,
I promise I'll say hi,
To that bit of emotional support melanin,
And we can talk, 
About language,
About culture,
About history,
About pride,
I can ask them about family,
They can sing to me about food,
And then we can celebrate,
Every good song that comes through the speakers,
For its most likely ours,
If it isn't ours, it was then stolen from us,
That we'll know for a fact..

Oh, emotional support melanin..
I see so much of it in Sri Lanka,
Brown Boys and Brown Girls,
Black hair and black eyes,
Walking around with coconut oil in their hair and sunkissed skin
It's a pleasure to hear them speak,
To eat their food,
To dance to their music,

I see them,
Standing proud, 
In beautiful clothes,
In gorgeous ethnic joy,
Loud and proud,
Standing in elegant traditional posture,
Standing..
Next to a white person on holiday..
Sipping a tequila out of a straw in a coconut..
That they paid a dollar for ..
Eating my food,
Mimicking my language,
Mocking my clothes,
With the dust of my land covering their feet,
With my people,
Putting food on their tables off of dollars, not ruppees,
I can't fucking escape em..
No matter where I go..

Their ancestors fucked the whole world
Now here they are for the leftovers
The crumbs
The moneyshot of the porno..
With literally, their money..
I can't escape em..

So, when I see it,
I feel so blessed,
Gorgeous shiny eyes and beautiful glowing skin,
That beautiful accent,
In subtle defiance,
When they speak the colonisers tongue,
In defiance,
In revolution,
Rolling the Rs in Rrrevolution..
Wielding that colonisers tongue,
Sharper than the colonisers themselves,
In poetry,
In writing,
In songs and protest, 
In chantings,
Beautifully so,
And with each and every sentence we utter,
The colony unfucks itself,
The colony heals,
Beautifully so,
In beautiful prayer,

So when I hear it,
In the air,
Any where I go,
My emotional support melanin,
I feel so grateful,
That my prayers are answered,
By some religious leader,
Cristian,
Muslim,
Hindu,
Or Buddhist,
Not a single origin of them white..
All of them black and brown,
All of them melanin,
I feel so grateful,
Because dreams do come true,
And with emotional support melanin,
my prayers are answered,
Tonight.

BS





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