time

"Time heals all wounds." They said.

Time had only wounded me.

"This too shall pass!" They said

They had already passed me.

I didn't believe them in confidence or experience, I only believed them in hope.

In hopes of healing and feeling better oneday, instead of just surviving to cope.

Time sure has passed,

But maybe I even have a couple new wounds now;

And it's not always fun, romance, and glory either;

I am missing the bliss of ignorance, right about now.

But I watched  this pain, seep through me last night,

The pain of loneliness,

The pain of loss.

Enough pain that you'd think wouldn't pass,

Enough pain that'll stop you in your tracks,

Enough pain to slow you down,

Enough pain to make you want to stop;

And catch your breath..

For a second..

And that pain,

The pain of loss,

The pain of the fear of ever wanting anything or anyone good for yourself,

The fear of failing,

The fear of rejection,

The fear of regret,

And ofcourse,

Regret,

The regret of having ever lived;

Having ever been human,

At all.

And all that they stood in front of me,

And passed through me,

No wound,

Not a scratch,

Not a second of time had passed,

Not a hair on me older,

And that pain, 

It flew past me,

Like a breeze through leaves,

Like a possum through branches,

Like waves on a beach,

And like rips in an ocean,

And that pain of mine,

Wasn't mine anymore,

And all that was mine in that moment,

Was the realisation,

That all it ever needed was,

The permission,

To not be mine,

And to be set free,

For me to want to choose myself,

And not choose suffering,

And slowly, 

Let go.

Baby Sparkzy