Eat the frog

My sleep was pretty restless last night. Felt so tired just from work yesterday, I didn't even go to the gym after work, I just laid in bed staring at my phone like a zombie. I listened to rain sounds and a podcast of comedians yelling at each other, in a friendly way, and their chaos felt so close to mine, I immediately fell asleep. It was only a matter of minutes till I started dreaming, and I believe I dreamt the whole night.

I saw intricate dreams where I dreamt of people I've never met before! They kept popping up and disappearing as my dream continued, there were distinguishably unique spaces that I could locate geographically apart from each other. I could walk between them. All sorts of rooms, tents, and buildings. I think it was also a music festival.

And I remember this clearly; I heard music in my dream. I remember, I got goosebumps, from seeing a band play at a pub, in some nook and cranny of my delirious subconscious, I looked at the person next to me and told them that I was getting goosebumps. I think they were a blacksmith. For later in my dream, I walked past a metal workshop and there that same person was, bent over a furnace, pulling out rods of metal, piping hot and glowing red.

Somewhere along this dream, I switched scenes to my grandparents home, where my mother and her two siblings grew up. My grandfather, who passed away a year and a half ago, was roaming from room to room, standing on his feet and comfortably doing so, to my surprise! He lost his mobility, independence, and later his sanity, as he slid into the comfort of mortality, so I remember I was glad to see him alive in my dream, and also with his strength and health back! I was quite excited.

But, somewhere along this encounter, I realised I was dreaming, and that there's not a chance that I am able to greet my grandfather like this. He loved me; and I, him. In fact, is last words he ever spoke were a mumbling of my childhood nickname: Bunchee. And his skin was still warm when I felt for his pulse to realise that he had passed away. I was only in the next room, reading a book. It was a cold morning in rural Sri Lanka that Friday.

As I slowly remembered all this, I watched the corner of his mouth slightly quiver and droop as it always was, towards the end of his life. I didn't need to dream anymore. I knew how this dream ends, and I didn't have the heart to relive it. So I woke myself up and held myself back from crying. After a couple shakes in my diaphragm, I managed to do so, and just a single tear rolled onto my nose, and then onto my pillow, I immediately fell back asleep, not to see anymore dreams till the alarm woke me up.

All these sleep related shenanigans really had swirled up my emotions, I felt even more tired at work this morning. I mean, I racked up 15,000 steps just running around and shovelling rocks all day, but it was quite a painful chore. Conversations with my co workers really helped the day go quicker, but I was definitely glad when it was over. Another highlight was the Chinese food we grabbed for lunch, the worksite being in a suburban part of Melbourne, the food was affordable too. "Yeah, you weren't joking about these portions sizes either ey, Yasi!" Hamish told me as he dug into his food, on the passenger seat of my car. It was his first shift with us, so I drove him to the local shops and back for lunch. 

This being the western suburbs, not only that the food was cheaper, it was also culturally authentic and diverse, very much a reflection of the local community. So, as I waited for Hamish to place his order, I was people watching as hundreds of people walked past me. 'For a recently built up area, it's fucking busy' I thought to myself. As Hamish started walking towards me, a woman walking past me ans looked over her shoulder to make eye contact with me. I blushed immediately as she was beautiful, and even when she seemed to double back over to the Chinese shop and stand infront of me to better read the menu, I nodded at Hamish and we made our way back to the car. The menu seemed to bore the woman as well, for I saw her leave the shops not long after, but I now was feeling too shy to say anything to her and strike up a conversation, my hesitance has gotten the best of me, and the moment has past.

"You know, bro, that chick's my type?" I told Hamish as we jumped in the car. "I swear if she looked at me one more time I would've hit on her.." I chuckled at the ridiculousness of my own excuses. "Plus she looks too much like my ex anyways..", no longer hiding my laughter.

"See Yasi, that always happens but.. you want to know what my favourite quote is though?" Hamish was already munching on his dim sims and about to open his drink. "It always happen to me too, but, I think my quote is quite fitting to these type of situations.." he slurped in a sip of Pepsi Max

"Hahah, yeah, go on then.." I mindlessly mumbled as I reversed my car. I could see the pretty girl hop in her car with her friend, and I fantasised that I had hit on her. "yo.. nice boots.. much better than mine anyways!" I couldve said that at the shops. 'I couldve pointed at my dirty work boots and used that to introduce myself. Then I couldve asked for her instagram..' I thought to myself.

"So, my favourite quote is, 'Eat the frog'." Hamish butted in on my thoughts and paused for dramatic effect. "What the fuck does that mean?" I asked him. "Exactly.. " he quipped. "It's pretty stupid but, it just means, if you ever have to eat a frog, everyday for the rest of your life, would you then do it the first thing in the morning? Or would you be doing it at night?"

"Ummmmmmm..." I bought myself some time, as I wiggled my car through a roundabout. I can see the girl's car enter the same roundabout, a couple cars behind. 'The one that got away..' I thought to myself to crack myself up.

"Ummmmmmm.. I mean, if I HAVE to eat a frog, everyday, ummmmm... I think I'll be eating it as soon as possible, my boy! Fuck waiting any longer for that shit, I'll be dreading it the whole time! Fuck that shit."

"Yeah Yasi, exactly, I mean I still have to take my own advice, but if I ever have to do any shit that I find hard, my strategy is always to 'eat the frog' and do it ASAP. Don't you reckon?"

I had already forgotten what we were talking about as I sped up along the highway, I was too busy wondering what our children would look like, if I had grabbed that girls number, and we had fallen in love, gotten married and had kids. We would over come all our troubles and rise together against the world, 'me and the pretty girl, lovers for ever'. I made myself chuckle for the second time.

"Yeah bro, sometimes we gotta eat that frog ey? I agree. I actually really like that quote, I might get it tattooed on me"

Hamish shock his head in amused disappointment. "Please don't Yasi..." he said with a mouth full of food. "Please don't.."

-Baby Sparky